Monday, March 13, 2006

Knucklehead #2

Friday night, I spent a couple of hours with one of the knuckleheads, the young, nomadic knucklehead.  

He’s a huge Jr fan and I had some pretty awesome pictures of Jr, his car, his pit crew, and his pit area from Daytona.  I offered him copies of the pictures.

So, I went by his place of employment, only to be told he’s no longer there.  So I called him.
How do I find you?
I’m not at work any more.
I know, I just left there.
I’m at the house
Can I come by?
I guess, if you want to
Just to bring you some pictures.
Sure, come on by.

I went by to give him his pictures, and we talked for about 2 hours.  He’s clean and sober and hasn’t had a drink in 70 days.  He’s in therapy, and the only meds he’s on now are those prescribed by the therapist.  3 months ago, when he shut me out, and started closing down, he was on the downhill slide to his rock bottom.  He finally hit it, and now he’s getting help.  He’s got a long way to go, but there is hope now.

We could talk about him, me, and us without hurt, anger or accusations.  He knew me well enough to know that he could hurt me a little by walking away but I’d survive and ultimately so would our friendship.  He was smart enough to know if he stayed around and drug me through his hell it would kill us and destroy our friendship.

It was good to talk to him and I’m proud he finally got some help.  It was also good to walk out of there without the empty feeling or heaviness in my heart.  I care about him, I probably always will, but I’m not in love with him.  I don’t want him back.  It was fun while it lasted, but we’re beyond all of that now, and we can be friends.  

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