Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Closing a Chapter

Ok, maybe I was wrong, and maybe I'm being a little too sensitive here (me? Wrong? Nah).

I've been cleaning out the apartment, and cleaning out my life, letting go of the baggage, from my past, both physical and emotional. Saying goodbye to a lot of things, and people from this life, getting ready for a new one.

So, last week, cleaning out my closet, I came across two shirts of Boo's. I forgot I had them. They were hanging in the back of the closet and well, there they were. I've been approaching this whole process as just that, a process.

Those shirts were Boo's and not mine to throw away. So I bagged them up and was just going to leave them hanging on his front door of his house. But he was home. I made the choice to give them to him directly. My way of closing that door for good. So I rang the door bell. He answered.

Hi.
Hey.
I can't stay, but I found these shirts and they're yours and I wanted to return them.
Uh ok.
They weren't mine to trash, so here are your shirts.
Uh ok. So, how are things?
They're good. How are things with you?
Fine.
Good. I gotta run.
Uh, ok, thanks.

I know it was awkward for him, I mean, I just dropped of shirts I know he probably forgot about, but they weren't my shirts, and well, we used to be friends. I just gave him his shirts and left. Never stepped into the house, never touched him, just quick, like 2 minutes, gone.

That was last week.... Today I get an email from him: Thank you for dropping the 2 T-shirts in my house the other day. by the way if you find anything else for me, can you please trash it. I hate for you to come all the way to my house and drop anything. As you know I'm a married man now. and you can't just come to the house and drop T- shirts you know. but thanks again.

It would have been one thing if I had showed up in a skirt and heels and a low cut top, but I was in blue jeans, my Kasey Kahne hoodie, and a ball cap. I didn't go in the house, I didn't touch him, I just gave him a bag with his shirts and left, basically. Apparently, now that he's married, he can't have any female friends.

I sent an email back to him that said, Look I was just returning things that were not mine. Period. Now that I have your permission, I will throw away anything else that is yours, including the picture of you in Jeff Gordon's car (which I found 2 days later and is the only copy of it). I didn't want anything from you other than to return your stuff and to finally close that chapter in my life. I promise you I will never make that mistake again. You know, I moved on long before you did, when I met B. I wanted nothing more than to return your things and close that chapter in my life for good. Now I have.


Maybe it was presumptuous on my part to just return the shirts, especially to his house, but I thought better there than at work, where other people would see it. I thought I'd at least give him a little bit of privacy and respect. And maybe it was selfish of me to return them, and not just throw them away. Or maybe I should have just been rude, and hung them on the door, rang the door bell and left. Who knows.

Frankly I don't care anymore. I've returned his things. I've had my goodbye. I'm done with him. That chapter is closed. For good.

5 comments:

Dixie said...

Glad you got that closure!

M. S. said...

You are evil! You know he would want that pic. But I'd do the same shit.

Tammy said...

You are nicer than I would have been. I would have burned them and sent him the ashes. :)

BeckyD said...

Yeah, well, after the email I got today, where "As you know, I am a married man not" as if he just gave birth to the virgin mary or some shit, he's lucky I don't deliver them to him through his front window.

Dixie said...

Tag! You're it!

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