Third time's the charm? or The Perfect Trifecta?

Remember this fiasco? How about this one? Well, apparently the dumbass lawyer and C1 are hoping that the third time is a charm. Anyone want to lay odds, they end up making it a perfect trifecta instead?

We have a court date, next week, (that nobody bothered to inform me about) Good thing I like to check into our on-line court database every so often 3 days. Otherwise I would have never known I was required to show up at court and testify to all this bullshit and get this finally over with.

Three months. It has taken them three months to get a court date. Now if there will be a judge sitting that day is anybody's guess, but we've got 50/50 odds. Which with Dumb and dumber running this dog and pony show it's bound to be a three ring circus.

Laughs from a Gmail Chat Covo today

My friend lilcali2mama and I were chatting today about guys in general and a few in our lives in particular.

We have decided that because C1 was in the Air Force, and because of this shit he tried to put in the new modification, we should change his name to Major Asshole. Captain Shit for brains would be good too. Although both names are being overly generous. In reality, he never ranked more than Sgt Fucktard. So, C1 will be getting a new moniker on this blog, please vote for your favorite. Or if you have another one, please offer suggestions. The winner will be announced later this week.

We have also decided that he suffers from RDD, Reality Deficit Disorder. I thought he could take the short bus to a nice little place the rest of us like to call reality since he's really never been there, but lilcali said that he can't get out of his stretch limo to Loserville.

We have a new phrase for men who have *ahem* shortcomings.... His package was a few stamps short of deliverable or a few stamps short of enough postage to deliver.

Yeah, you can tell it's Monday, and well, it's good to be back at work, and online again.

Don't Forget to vote!

Almost there

In an hour and a half, I'm leaving work. 4:00. Out of here. Got to go to the lawyer's office. Not my lawyer's office. C1's lawyer's office. Yes, the dumbass.

Finally, he has the new parenting plan typed up, and put together. I just have to read it and sign it. After I look over it with a magnifying glass and a fine tooth comb. I'm sure they're going to try to slip something in there that is going to piss me off.

After I sign the papers today (if I sign the paper's today) his lawyer will have to get a court date. This has proved to be a challenge in the past. Actually, getting a court date is fairly easy. Getting one when the judges are actually sitting on the bench, however seems to be a real challenge for this dumbass.

This should have been over and done with months ago, but oh hell to the no, it's not. We're still dealing with total and complete incompetence. Of course, he's blaming it all on the fact that they had a paralegal quit. I'm sorry, did she run that law practice by herself? I'm thinking she may have been the only competent one there.

It's all good for me, if this guy is a dumbass, (and his track record says he just might be) it works in my favor.

I really just want this over. This is the last hurdle here. The last residue of my past. The last little bit of the forces of evil hanging around my neck. Once this over, I can breathe, really breathe.

See things my way

Ha! Ha! I love it when karma comes back around and bites people in the ass. I love it even more when I have a hand in helping karma out.

Ok, so we all know about the court date fiasco of yesterday. Nothing like a unpaid hour of my day lost to put a great big smile on my face and charity in my heart. He did talk to his lawyer, and there were a few odds and ends that needed to be tied up so we handled that via emails. (always good to have shit in writting). So, I took that opportunity to broach the child support issue.

Me: ok, so, since we don't have a court ruling, or a new court order, child support will still be $350 for January b/c that's the court order we have right now.

C1: $350 for January and $175 from February 1st to May 1st. That is the equivalent of $175 a month for six months.

Me: We agreed to 6 months child support. It is not my fault your lawyer scheduled a court date when there were no judges sitting and the courts could not rule on the new parenting plan. Why should I have to pay for your attorney's screw up?

C1: This was not my attorney's fault. There were a lot of cases that got messed up, ours was not the only one. This was the court's doing not my attorney. What you asked for was 6 payments of $175 which comes to $1,050. However, due to the fact that I couldn't get a hold of my attorney before the 28th to get the papers drawn up, I'll go ahead and give you $350 in January and then 5 payments of $175 for a total of $1,225.


I so love it when things go my way. Of course, when you threaten to take a whole of their money and make it your money, ex husbands have a tendency to see things your way.

See, C1 didn't pay child support for the first 5 yrs after our divorce. I can go back and collect that unpaid child support clear up until the day Bo turns 18 (that's 5 years folks). AND at the time of the divorce the state said that he was to pay $612/mo for Bo, but we settled on $350. I reminded him that over the past 11 years, we can safely assume your income has increased significantly. Correct?
Yeah.
And can we also assume that over the past 11 years, Bo's expenses have significantly increased as well?
Uh, yeah, I guess.
OK, then, let's review, your income increased, and Bo's expenses increased, but my child support did not increase, correct?
Uh yeah.
I can go back and get those increases if you would like for me to. And I can drag this whole modification through the court system for months and months to come, meaning you would pay me at least $350/mo until it's settled, vs the $350 for January plus the $175 for the remaining 5 months.

When it's put that way, the $350/mo and $175/mo through June doesn't sound half bad.

Some times, Fate smiles on me in such a way

As any of you who read this blog on a semi regular basis knows, I am dealing with 2 custody modifications for my kids. The girls’ has been settled, and we have a court date for the judge to rule on it, and we will be done. Bo’s on the other hand has been anything but easy.

When I was served the papers, and read them, I could have fallen out of my chair in total and complete disbelief. The accusations put forth in the modification were so completely absurd, they were beyond ridiculous. He was claiming that I was bi-polar with a long-standing history of refusing to take my medication. He claimed that I was physically abusive to Bo, and that Bo lived in constant fear for his life. There were more, lots more, demands and accusations. Crazy really.

I knew that fighting the charges and the allegations would take a lot of time, and a lot of money and would put Bo through a harrowing, nasty, bitter, ugly custody battle, where he would be forced to chose sides. All of which I didn’t have and didn’t want. So I set about trying to reach an agreement with Bo’s father.

He reached a quasi agreement, for 30 days, during which time we could hammer out the details of a new parenting plan. C1 readily agreed Bo should live with him for 30 days, but staunchly refused to discuss any terms of a new parenting plan.

Then I get a letter from his attorney stating we have a court date. WHOA! WTF is this? I’m being set up, I’m being ambushed. So I called C1 and for over an hour we fight over the phone about the modifications. During the course of the fight, he told me, “The only reason I am doing this, the only reason I filed this modification is because when I asked you about how serious you were with Batman, you told me it was none of my business. Had you just talked to
me, I would have been glad to work with you. As it is, I’m not willing to work with you at all.” Hey, as long as you’re doing this because you truly believe this is in Bo’s best interest, and not because you want to prove to me how big of a dick you can be, great. At least Bo’s best interest is at the root of this shit.

Then he told me, “Look, I’m not going to agree to what you want. If you think the stuff in this modification is over the top, you should know, that I’m being extremely generous here. My lawyer told me, nay advised me to ask for much much more, and demand much more. I’m being lenient at best. And if you want to fight this, I promise you I will be a bigger ass and I will ask for the moon and the stars, and I will make your life a living hell.” Ok, well, there’s a not so subtly veiled threat.

Finally I told him, Look, if you want this settled and done, this month, then you will accept what I’m agreeing to, have your lawyer write up a new parenting plan, and I’ll sign it. Done. We reached an agreement that was far from fair, but I love my son more than his father, and I took one up the ass to prevent Bo from being drug through a bitter nasty custody battle, because that is exactly what his father was promising was coming. Not because it was in Bo’s best interest, but because he wanted to get back at me.

So, today was our court date. The lawyer still has not drawn up the new parenting plan that we’ve agreed to. I still have no papers to sign, and I went to the court house today, ready to explain to the judge, C1 and I had an agreement (and I had the email to prove it) but the attorney hasn’t drawn up the papers yet. I was hoping the judge would listen and an agreement would be reached.

Funny thing. I got to the courthouse, found the courtroom, and it was dark, empty. No one was there. Uh, we have a court date in 5 minutes, shouldn’t people be here? People like a judge, the stenographer, uh, some staff? So, I find the judge’s secretary, and she tells me that Judge J will not be in today. That C1’s attorney had scheduled a court date on a day when the judge was not even in court. (This attorney is sounding like a regular Einstein).

So, there was no court date today, the judge can not, will not rule on it today. In fact, it won’t be heard this month or this year. So, that means, that come January 1, C1 will have to pay me the full child support amount because there will not be a new court order with a different amount. HA! Gotta love that!!!!!

I asked God/Fate whoever ‘Please don’t let me get ambushed or screwed over today in court. Please let things fall into place, let the agreement we’ve reached stand. Please let things go my way today.’ Yeah, I think they went my way, and then some.

Mixed Emotions

In the past 24 hours, Bo's father C1, and I have come to some sort of an agreement in regards to Bo's custody, and living arrangement. I wish I could say that it came about as easily as the girls' did, but that was not the case.

I still believe, (regardless of how often or how loudly he proclaims otherwise) that C1 is doing this, and being the coniving, pretentious, controlling, manipulative asshole he has always been, not because he believes it is in Bo's best interest, but because he is using this as a way to control and punish me.

He yelled, he screamed, the threatened, he blackmailed. He has absolutely no qualms with dragging our son through a very bitter, very ugly, very tramatic custody battle, just to get what he thinks is best for our son. I happen to love Bo enough to roll over and play dead, and take it up the ass just to prevent him from having to suffer that kind of trauma and drama and emotional battery the court battle would put him through.

C1 was completely unwilling to bend on any given point in the modification and repeatedly threatened me with "If you think this is bad and unreasonable, you should see what I could have and should have asked for. I would have stripped you of every single right in regards to my son. You would have had nothing. I'm throwing you a bone by allowing you to continue to see him and have visitation."

Excuse the fuck out of me? Your son? I was there at the hospital when that child took his first breath and yeah, I don't remember it being your belly that was laying sliced open on that operating table. I don't remember you being the one to carry that baby around for 10 months. And I sure as hell don't remember you changing all that many diapers or feeding him all that many meals. So, don't go down that road, asshole, he's not just your son. I brought him into this world. Fuck you.

And really, you're doing me a huge ass favor by allowing me to continue to see him? Let me tell you, unless you can prove that I am completely unfit (and there is no fucking way in Hell you can) you can't keep me from seeing him.

Let me tell you want I have allowed you to do. I have allowed you to brainwash him so that he can no longer think for himself. He follows your lead, and does exactly what he thinks you want him to do. I have allowed you to teach him it is ok to sit around on your fat lazy ass all day doing nothing more productive than playing worthless mind numbing video games. (and believe me I remember the days of our marriage when it was just too much fucking trouble for you to turn the video games off, get up off your lazy ass, and take a shower, for days on end!!! You were a filthy nasty pig. And now, Bo seems to think it's ok to go DAYS without a shower or brushing his teeth or his hair. UGH!) And now it seems I have allowed you one more time to bend me over and fuck me (and it's still all about you, and it still sucks for me, but it's nice to know nothing has changed since we were married) and you get your way. The only (and I stress ONLY) reason this is going through without a fight, is because I believe Bo is in such a bad place emotionally and mentally I don't want to cause more damage to him, by dragging him through a bitter, ugly nasty court battle. But believe me, If it were just you and me, I would fight you tooth and nail on every single point, to the fucking letter, and I would win, I don't give a flying fuck how long it would take.

So, where does the mixed emotions come into play? Yeah, well, there is guilt that I didn't fight harder for my son. That I in effect just rolled over and agreed to give sole legal custody of him to his father. There is also guilt in the realization that in doing that I feel a sense of relief that things at my house will be less stressful, that everyone involved will be happier. There is also relief that even though I didn't get exactly what I wanted, this albatross that has been hanging around my neck for the past month has finally been cut free and I no longer have to carry the weight of this issue around with me anymore.

I just found that when face to face with this battle, it was going to bigger, uglier, nastier and longer than I was willing to put my son through, and therefore, I chose not to pick up the sword. A part of me feels defeated, a part of me feels victorious, b/c I loved my son enough to set aside my own wants and needs and did what I thought was best for him, and that was to avoid the emotional mess a court battle would have created for him.

And so, now, it is finished, except for the technical things, like getting a judge to rule on both modifications. Once that has been done, it wil finally be completely over. But for now the fight is over and done. It's just a matter of signing the peace agreement, cleaning up the mess, and going hom.