Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Isn't it funny...

Isn’t it funny the way things work? Irony at it’s best sometimes.

I have had knuckleheads in my life in the past. I know now they weren’t serious, they were so much less than I deserved, and could never amount to all that I hoped and wished and dreamed they would. Since my divorce, there have been 3 semi-serious, ok not serious, ‘relationships’ I’ve been a part of. Not serious, not relationships, there have been 3 guys who have been in and out of my life off and on for the past 2 years.

Apparently, karma has sent out a message, or the universe has sent out some vibes, or my falling in love has sent shock waves through the hearts of the knuckleheads, I don’t know. I do know that ever since finding Batman, the knuckleheads seem to be crawling out of the woodwork.

Friday, on my way to Batman’s house, Boo calls. Says he’s just calling to see how I’m doing, how life is treating me, just checking in. I drop the ‘Bat Bomb’ on him and tell him that life is wonderful, that I’ve met someone, who is everything I ever dreamed of, and that I’m incredibly happy with him. While Boo claims to be happy for me, and wish me the very best, he still spends 20 minutes trying to convince me that I’m not really in love with this guy and that we can continue to hang out. Wrong. I’m not buying it, I’m not giving in. He even went so far as to say “But I love you Boo”. I’m sorry Hondo, that’s a little too little, a whole lot too late.

Even now, 5 days later, I still get messages from him, telling me how much he misses me, how he really wishes things would have worked out for us. Uh, Hello? You were the one who bailed idiot. You were the one with issues, and the one who decided you didn’t want a relationship, who decided you could never love anyone but your beloved JC and now, she’s someone else’s wife. But I digress. The point is, now that I’m no longer out there, no longer available, now he steps up to the plate and offers me what I wanted. I just don’t want it from him. I know that if I were to call him and tell him things didn’t work out with Batman, Hondo wouldn’t be there.

Now, last night, I’m on the Bat Phone with Batman, when I hear a knock at my door. It’s freakin’ 9:30. When someone knocks on my door at 9:30, it’s never good. I opened the door to find Young Knucklehead standing there. So, I tell Batman I’ll have to call him back, and before I hang up, I tell him “I love you”, which is knucklehead’s first clue it’s bad timing.

I don’t want to screw this up with Batman, so I’m honest, to a fault with Knucklehead. I tell him I’ve met someone, it has great potential to be something serious and I’m not going to screw it up. To his credit, he didn’t push the issue. He was disappointed, but also glad that I was finally doing something good for me and the kids and that I’d found someone who I could be happy with.

After Knucklehead left (he only stayed about 10 minutes) I called Batman back, because I wanted to be honest with him too. I told him a knucklehead had crawled out of the woodwork, but that I had told him about him and sent him on his way.

All of the knucklehead’s know now. That is just another indication to me that this is right and meant to be. I don’t want anyone else, ever. I don’t need/want to have anyone hanging on the sidelines. It was important to me to tell them, and cut things off with them. I’m completely committed to Batman, I love him, and I want to do this right, completely right.

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