Friday, August 18, 2006

Meet 'Batman'

Meet Batman. Not the name I'm sticking with, that's for sure. Just the one he has for now. We've been spending a lot of time on the phone, because he has to drive 70 miles to work each day. So, to avoid huge cell phone bills, he just added me to his plan, got me a phone, which he immediately dubbed 'The Bat Phone' and there ya have it. But really, how sweet is that, that he just without question, added me to his plan, got me a phone, and now we don't have huge bills to pay, and we can talk all day?

I got an IM from him the other day.."I just got you a present. It's one of those things that you see and say got to buy it for her." Now, tell me, really, how sweet is that? Turns out he got me a Kasey Kahne ball cap. For those of you not in the know, Kasey Kahne is a NASCAR driver, #9, drives for Dodge.

Ok, on a serious note, there is just something about this guy that does it for me. I have had more than my share of conversations with my sister about how I manage to screw up my personal life, my love life, I'm my own worst enemy. I have even asked her 'How do you know, what exactly is good enough.' And she told me, "When it's everything you've ever dreamed of." And I think maybe he is.

With everyone else in the past, there have always been issues, something that was off, something that rubbed me wrong, didn't sit right, kept things from being good, let alone perfect. I was always wondering, guessing, doubting, weighing and measuring words and actions. I was always looking for hidden meanings behind words and actions. With Batman, there is none of that. I knew the moment I fell in love with him, and I knew the moment he fell in love with me. I don't question it, I just accept it. He gets me. There have been so many things said and done along the way that just reconfirms to me that he's the man I was born to be with.

I took pictures of his son (Scooter) at the motor cross race last weekend. I was scared to death that they wouldn't turn out. When I saw the digital pictures, and saw how amazing they were, I almost cried, I was just blown away that I had done that. He knew. When I dropped off the 2 rolls of film I shot that weekend I was scared to death they wouldn't turn out (I'm still learning about film) and when we got them back, and I saw they were nearly perfect, I was speachless, and he knew.

I wrote him a letter before I left, he happened to see me writing and told me, 'I didn't mean to interupt, go ahead, keep writing in your journal.' For those of you who know my history, you know how huge that is for me. He told me in the pool last week, 'You can't have a strong WE unless there is a strong YOU and a strong ME.' He's been to therapy after his divorce, he not only listened, he learned, he got something out of it.

I can't put my finger on it, there is nothing that says "This is why", but I knew, in an instant, knew beyond all reason, beyond all doubt, that I would love this man, and that he would love me and that he was the man I was meant to find. He is everything I ever dreamed of.

I wrote him a letter.... "I fell in love with this weekend, and it had nothing to do with my camera. A week, 10 days, doesn't matter. You asked me before, and I wasn't sure then, I am now. I understand if you're not there yet, you'll tell me when/if you get there, but I am, and I know now, more sure than I've known anything else in my life...I love you. I used to wonder how I would know when it was right, when I had found someone who was good enough for me and I was good enough for. My sister said “You’ll know, because it will be everything you’ve ever dreamed of.” And she was right, because I’ve found everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I’ve found you. The things we regret the most in life are the things not done. I don’t ever want to regret not telling you how I feel. I love you. Plain and simple, with everything that I am, I love you.” He cried when he read it, and he kept it. He gets it.

I leave tonight, right after work, the kids and I are going to spend the weekend with him and his kids. They have a go-cart, they have a pool, they have horses, the kids will have so much fun. The girls are excited about meeting his daughter, cute little 3 year old Princess. Bo already thinks Scooter is cool because he races dirt bikes.

It's home. That's what it feels like with him. The broken road I've traveled has lead me straight to him. Posted by Picasa

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