Friday, March 31, 2006


I have found a new blog that is an addiction to me. I have read every post from the very inception, like a novel. It is a very real, very moving love story and tragedy all rolled into one moving real life story.

The author is in an abusive marriage, only she didn’t realize just how abusive it was. Ironic that the victims are programmed to believe the abuse is what they deserve and it’s not so bad. She didn’t realize she was abused because it was never physical and there were never any marks. It was all emotional and mental.

But that’s how abusers start. They start small and they start with the head games. Slowly stripping away your strength and your courage and your self esteem so that when the physical begins, you’re too weak and meek to fight back.

I feel her pain. I know the life she is living. She has found her soul-mate, a woman, who lives across the ocean, some 4000 miles away. They are limited to sporadic phone calls and email and IM’s. Without her lifeline she would be lost in a sea of uncertainty and guilt and shame, all of which he readily heaps upon her.

He controls and manipulates her out of his own fear and insecurities. What she can’t see (and what I couldn’t see either) is that she’s stronger than she seems, braver than she believes, and smarter than she thinks. He is aware of this and does whatever he can to make sure she doesn’t realize this.

I wish her and her family (she has 2 children to consider in this too) and her soul-mate all the luck, hope and love. I hope that she finds the courage she needs to get her and her children out of this dangerous marriage. I hope that she realizes that there is always help if you ask. Don’t stay for financial reasons, the money always seems to be there just when you need it, and never a minute earlier. God has a way of providing. Have faith, and don’t give up, no matter how hard it is. In the end it’s worth the fight, no matter how ugly and messy, to get out.

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