Sunday, June 18, 2006

I didn't really know you at all

I got some disturbing news late last week.  It seems that a person from my past life, who still happens to be in my children’s life, has crossed a line I never thought they could/would cross.

Now, I only have sketchy details at best and I only have 1 side of the story.  To make a long story short, X touched his teenage step-daughter inappropriately.  TD (teenage daughter) is making some serious allegations, and apparently charges have been filed (2 counts).  X admits to 1 touch.  The allegations are much more serious, and the truth will eventually come out, in court.

I was given this news by C2 because the girls know this person and have had considerable contact with this person in the past.  The news in and of itself is a lot to digest and deal with.  I mean, in the 11 years I’ve known X I would never believe he could do this to anyone, let alone TD.  So, while I’m sure my girls are not in any danger from this person, it’s really hard to know what’s true. After all, I never thought TD was in danger from him either.

So, when in a time of crisis, I went to my sister.   I told her the basics of what I know.  I was given this little ‘gem’ of information, and I was pondering what exactly do I do with it?  A part of me says... “File this away and watch the girls, be ever vigilant, be watchful, and question, question, question them, but don’t scare them.”  Another part of me hears this story and wonders “Can I use this to strike back at the family?”  Yes, that’s ugly, yes that’s terribly hard to admit, but it’s an honest true statement.  

The sad truth is, the family is circling wagons around X and blaming TD.   They are pointing the fingers at TD saying she’s been a problem child, she’s been running wild, and she’s rebelling and has found the perfect way to cause the most damage, pain and suffering to X.  The family still has a hard time accepting reality, and the reality is regardless of the severity, X DID touch (and admits to it) his TD inappropriately.  What he did, was wrong.  It is not TD’s fault this happened, this is squarely on X’s shoulders.  He crossed a line that should never have been crossed.

Like my sister said, “They have a right to protect their own, like you have a right to protect your own.”  I want to know, how exactly do you protect someone who touches his own daughter inappropriately?  How do you not just turn your back on the offender?  There is nothing he can say to justify what he did.  There is no way he can spin this to make it OK, because, it’s not ok.  

The fact that this family can circle the wagons, so to speak, around X and protect him, and continue to blame TD (the victim) and smear her name to everyone who will listen (TD is part of this family, but apparently it’s ok to throw her under the bus if it will save X), proves to me something I have always known.  This family just doesn’t know how to live in this place the rest of us like to call reality.  The family believes they are better than everyone else and that they are above the natural laws of man.  The laws of society don’t apply to them.  What a rude awakening to realize one son is an abuser, and the other is a child molester.   They both abuse the very people they claim to love.  One uses his fists, one uses sex.
It’s a sad situation that will be even more so, and will get worse before it’s over.  I’m not sure it will ever get better.  

Isn’t it strange how you can ‘know’ someone for 11 years, and then find out maybe you didn’t know them at all.

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