Sunday, June 25, 2006

Timing is everything

Sometimes timing is great, sometimes timing sucks. Right now, timing sucks.

BK took us all to see Cars last night. Great movie BTW, kids and adults alike laughed our asses off all the way through. I'm beginning to think, Boo has radar b/c he called again, and sent a text message. I ignored it. Well, ok, I didn't ignore it, but I didn't respond. I let it go, hard as it was.

The cold hard honest truth is, Boo makes me question what I'm doing with BK. My sister says It's ok to have fun, just don't read anything into anything. It is what it is. The problem is, I don't know what it is, because Boo (and my residual, unresolved feelings for him) are clouding my judgement.

I know...I should just turn my back and forget about Boo. He's not everything I deserve, and he probably never will be. Better than I ever had still does not fill the void of all I deserve.

Yet, when I look at BK, and think about a future with BK, I have my doubts. I'm not sure I want it. But I'm not sure why I'm not sure. Are my doubts caused by BK, or are my doubts caused by Boo?

And not knowing anything for sure, is a great source for a lot of tears.

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