It is what it is and nothing more. It's not enough...yet

I just got off the phone with my lawyer, and according to her, there really isn’t a damn thing I can do legally to stop the assault The Slug’s family has launched against me. Nor is there anything I can do to get full custody of the girls, or terminate his rights. I guess him being an asshole just isn’t enough reason to get him out of their life.

I can list reason after reason why I want him completely out of their life, and mine, but the law doesn’t give a shit about my reasons. He still takes his visitation, even though he uses that time to make their life a living hell. He’s behind on his child support, but only less than $600, and we can’t do anything legally until he’s closer to $5000 behind. Until his brother is convicted of his sexual misconduct, I can’t even keep that child molesting monster away from the girls. The Slug doesn’t have to let them participate in any extracurricular activities, and I can’t make him. I can’t even move out of the area and get away from the assault they have launched against me, unless I go to court and fight to be allowed to provide a better life for my girls.

Even if B and I get married, I will have to go to court to be allowed to move them out of the area. Even though B and I together can provide the girls with a happier, more stable, better life and home environment, The Slug still has the right to prevent that. And I know he would. Not because he thinks he can do a better job of raising them, but because he would do anything to prevent me from being happy and having a better life.

I am calling my lawyer to find out if I truly am tied to this area until the girls are out of school. If I am required to stay here until Newt reaches 18 then I’m going to be really upset that my lawyer allowed that to get into the papers.

Tell me if I’m wrong, but really, we can fight anything out in court. I can give him the 60 days notice, I can prove that it will be to provide the girls with a better life, and even if he wants to contest it, ultimately the judge will have to decide. Am I willing to risk it all and a roll of the dice?

It all boils down to this. After the assault that was launched against me, I am leaving this job. I don’t know that I have a choice. For now, the Big Boss is siding with me, but he made it clear, if the Ex MIL and the family at large continue to raise a real stink about my employment here, he will have no choice but to terminate me. Fine. That tells me all I need to know, right there. For now, I am safe, but in the grand scheme of things, his clients mean more to him than his employees, or at least me. He won’t stand behind me, he won’t defend me, I’m not as valued as they are, time to cut my losses and go.

So, having reached that decision, I now have to decide, do I stay in this area and find yet another job, and pray that they don’t come after me there, and allow The Slug to be an ass to me and the girls, or do I cut all ties here, get the hell out of Dodge and move closer to Batman and start over fresh?

The more I think about it, I think that moving closer to Batman may be jumping the gun a little (ok, a lot) because really, we don’t have anything solid yet. He said to me: “I couldn't promise you anything as you know but I do believe we could have a future. I do think about it often.” Ultimately though the decision has to be about what is best for me, and the kids, and can’t include him at all. According to him, he has to be taken out of consideration in this decision, he can’t factor into it at all.

And that right there sports fans is the answer to my problem. I can leave this job, but I will not move the kids. No matter how much better our life could be without The Slug and the family at large, the fact is, Batman can’t be counted on to be there. I know that the decision to uproot everyone and move is solely mine, and the move is my responsibility alone. I know that I would be moving there with no promise of a safety net, with no guarantee of anything beyond today. I am just not prepared to make that kind of leap of faith. The truth is, he’s not as sure about us as was, not as sure about his feelings for me as I am about mine. And I can not risk my family, my kids, my life on something that uncertain.