Monday, October 10, 2005

To my ex-husband, I hate you now and always


I don’t know who it was in your past that told you a complete blowjob with a ‘happy ending’ is  sexually satisfying for both partners. It is not.  There is nothing in it for me except a stiff neck and jaw.  It is not a little protein snack, I don’t see you swallowing it.  I don’t care what the woman do in porno flicks, in a little place I like to call REALITY, I do not get any sexual satisfaction in ‘blowing you all the way.’  

I hate you, now and for always:

Nobody wins when there are different sets of rules for each player.  I was never allowed to have friends or a life, or a night off, or any free time.  You on the other hand, had a life, friends, nothing but free time, no responsibilities.  A relationship is a partnership where both have to give and take.  It doesn’t work when one does all the taking and the other does all the giving.

I hate you, now and always:

For someone who claims to hate liars with a vengeance, you have become a very proficient one.  You tell a lie without batting an eye, and tell it so well, even you believe it.   You lied to me about your girlfriend (who never really went away), you lied to our daughters (they know that I love them, even if I don’t call them. They will never believe I don’t love them, stop trying to convince them.)  You lied about calling my boss at home to tell him what a bitch I am.  Really, the man doesn’t know you from Adam, and you made such an impression the night you stormed into the dealership 3 times ranting and raging like a lunatic, you’ve lost all credibility.  Nobody there would believe you. They would see you for what you are, a jealous insecure asshole trying desperately to control your ex wife and is pissed off she doesn’t jump when you yell.

I hate you, now and for always.

I wish I could push a red button that would strategically drop an atomic bomb on your fucking house leaving no collateral damage.  Which in effect means I would have to be sure that our daughters were with me, and that your mom’s boyfriend wasn’t there, I have no beef with him.  If your controlling manipulative bitch of a mother, and you jealous, insecure, conniving bitch of a girl friend were there too that would be an added bonus.

I wish I could cut your dick off without my name being nationally broadcasted throughout the media like Lorraine Bobbit's was. I also don't want to be criminally prosecuted. Although, without it you would be completely void of any self because your whole identity and self worth is wrapped up in that tiny little package, such as it is.  Although, if I could find a jury of my peers (and that would have to be 12 woman who have been fucked over by you, such a small number I’m sure) I’m sure I could be rewarded the Congressional Medal of
Honor.

Most of all, I wish I could rewind some Life VCR Machine...I would chose to continue to walk away after the divorce. Not just walk, but saunter, stroll, strut, run, jump, fly, dance, boogie, jog, just keep on moving away, away, away from you and never look back.  I was free of your controlling manipulative shit once, and I should have just kept on trucking.  You are so immature, insecure and self centered that you can not stand the fact that someone in the world would dare to walk away from you.  I would chose to ignore the fact that you called me the night you threatened to kill yourself.  I would have dropped everything, rushed to your side just to get the girls away from you and let you follow through with your deepest darkest desires that night. I would have left you alone that night with your own demons and let you figure them out on your own instead of once again riding to your rescue.  Lord knows you wouldn’t have lifted a finger to stop me if the roles were reversed.  I would have called your so called girlfriend at the time and told her, “You created this mess, you clean it up.  He’s no longer my problem, I divorced him, he’s your mess now. You’re welcome to him.”  I would tell you that I don’t give a shit that your new girlfriend ‘called it off’ for the umpteenth millionth time.  Maybe she got tired of your shit too.  After being as selfish in bed as you are and having nothing else to offer, it’s a wonder any woman will spend any time with you.  Wait a minute or two she’ll change her fucking mind.  You’re not my problem any longer, I divorced you.  It’s time you take responsibility for your actions.  You just need to learn to make better choices.

DID I MENTION: I HATE YOU. NOW AND ALWAYS. So, at the seasoned age of 37, I'm now back on the single's chopping block again. But I'm stronger, wiser...and ready to apply what I had to learn the hard way after 10 years of being with you: I will NEVER continue to be involved with an average-looking, red necked, truck driving, beer bellied, self centered, selfish, out of work mechanic who has erectile problems every single time we have sex. If he truly believes a complete blow job is sexually satisfying for both of us, he is sadly mistaken.  If he has to fuck me from behind so he can imagine I’m someone else, he might as well be with them.  And if he calls me Girl (because he’s afraid he’ll use the wrong name) one time in bed, I’ll tell that ‘Boy’ to hit the fucking road.
I will NEVER continue to be involved with a man who thinks sex is not only the most important aspect of a relationship, it’s the ONLY aspect in a relationship. He's a fucking male-pig who has no deep or abiding respect for women. Later, I’ll ask him ‘Can you possibly have a relationship with a woman that does not involve sex?’ and he answers “Why would I want to?”  Then I’ll know the truth about this simple minded ass.
I will NEVER continue to be involved with a man whose own mother lets him live in her basement and then tries to bribe him to turn his back on his children by promising to buy him a house and give him 5 acres of land to build it on as long as his ex wife ‘never sets foot on the property’, even though she’s the mother of his only 2 children.  When he doesn’t have the balls to tell his mother “Sorry, I can’t accept those terms because she’s the mother of my children.”  I will know then that he has no real balls of which to speak (which should be self evident because he has no real dick of which to speak either).  What balls he was born with are safe and secure in said mother’s purse.

I will NEVER continue to be involved with a man who really is NOT in touch with his soul, is NOT intellectually stimulating and only offers emotional support when it's convenient for him to do so, but makes you feel guilty for even daring to ask.  
And I will DEFINITELY get out before the sex gets lame... even if that means in the middle of our first ‘sack session’.DID YOU GET THE MEMO? I HATE YOU. NOW AND ALWAYS.  You will never have the opportunity to take advantage of me or lie to me again! Let me state that again more vehemently: YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME OR LIE TO ME AGAIN!!! So go find other women, or use the stockpile of them you've already fucked, to SCREW OVER...  
I am forever grateful that your diabetes has taken away your ability to ejaculate any longer, on the off chance that the vasectomy I demanded you get didn’t work.  At least this way no other poor unsuspecting woman will be left to raise your children (whom I love more than life it’s self, because they are mine as well.  It’s not their fault they have a worthless asshole for a father) without any emotional, financial or physical help from you.  I HATE YOU. NOW AND ALWAYS.

1 comment:

OhWaywardOne said...

right ON!
Classic Wells-angst! :-)
I like it.