Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I friggin' give up!

I give up! Remember Home Alone, when Kevin wishes he didn’t have a family anymore because he’s tired of being shit on, no matter what he does, he’s still wrong. Welcome to my reality.

I have a 12 year old son and lord he’s going to be the death of me yet. In the last week alone, has deliberately disobeyed me, accused me of stealing his money, lied to me, broke rules, and snuck things out of the house. Today in fact he left his homework at home and expected me to go get it and bring it to him.

Let’s go back to last week first,

He had some change in his pocket. Money I didn’t give him, I have no idea where it came from but he doesn’t need to take it to school. I told him to leave it at home. Not once, not even twice, but on 3 different occasions, 3 separate days. He didn’t listen or just didn’t care. Tried to take it to school EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN DAY last week AFTER I told him to leave it at home. That right there is enough to piss me off. I am absolutely furious just thinking about it right now.

Then on Friday, he said he needed a quarter for school.
Fine, take one of yours.
I don’t have any money, it’s gone
Where is it?
I don’t know, I left it on my dresser yesterday, and when I got home from school it was gone.
Who do you think took it?
Whoever was in the apartment.
Well, since I was the only other person besides you here yesterday, are you saying I took it?
Well, it’s not here now.
I know I didn’t take it, so why don’t you try telling me the truth this time.

For 2 hours we argue about the money, until he finally admits the truth. He took it to school to buy cookies for lunch. So, he disobeyed me by taking his money to school, he snuck it out of the house which tells me he KNEW it was wrong, and he did it anyway, then he all but accused me of taking his money, he lied about it being on his dresser. Sorry, but as punishment for lying, sneaking, and disobeying, I will not give you a quarter to play a game with.

Today, he is once again trying to sneak MORE money to school (In case someone needs money mom, I’ve got it), and lying about it. I called his father and told him that there was no need to give him money, he didn’t need it at school. Turns out, he’s been begging his dad for money for breakfast at school. Bo gets free breakfast at school, so there is no need for him to have any money to eat at school. None. He’s lying to his dad and stealing his dad’s money to give away to the kids at school.

On top of all of this, my mother thinks I’m being unduly harsh on him and I should lighten up. After all, he’s a little boy who’s very angry and full of rage. HELLO? He’s a liar and a thief and yes, he’s angry and full of rage, he got caught! He got busted. But instead of seeing that what Bo did was wrong, she thinks I’m being too harsh on him and I should coddle him and bail him out and give him a break. HELLO? How the f@#k is he going to learn there are consequences to his actions if we are constantly babying him, bailing him out, giving him a break?

I don’t know how to get through to him, I don’t know what to do to make him understand that what he’s doing is wrong, WRONG!!! All the punishment in the world does nothing. He pulls the same shit the next day and we repeat this whole vicious cycle EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN’ DAY. I’m at my wits end with him.

I feel like I am the only disciplinarian in his life. My mother is too busy being the Good Grandma and taking his side, and babying him, that I get no support from her. She thinks I’m the bad guy and I’m being too harsh and too mean to him. His father is too busy trying to buy his affection and be his best friend and make life easy for him and refusing to let him grow up. He NEVER disciplines him. They spend all their time parked in front of the boob tube or the computer, watching movies or playing games. Hell, his father hasn’t even grown up yet why should his son? So, I am always the bad guy and Bo knows that crying to dad or grandma will get him out of anything. They will always bail him out. How the fuck is this child ever going to become a responsible adult if we don’t let him?

Christ I give up. I can’t fight this fight alone, and I have no help at all. Let him do whatever the fuck he wants, and when he ends up in juvie, or in jail, or dead, it will be too late, but I can be there going “I TOLD YOU SO!” We should have done something when we had the chance.

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