Alfred Hitchcock is writing the story of my life

My life has the potential to get just absolutely beyond words weird. And when I say weird, I mean it in the biggest sense of the word.

Ok, while I’m not sure any of this is fact, aside from there were plans made for dinner consisting of 2 people from my past, none of what I’m about to write here is altogether impossible.

I found out tonight that my son was going to have dinner with my ex MIL. Let me clarify that. My son, was going to have dinner with my 2nd husband’s (not my son’s father) mother. It turns out, my 1st ex husband was having dinner with my second ex MIL. That alone is kind of creepy. It gets worse.

My ex, C1, didn’t even know X-MIL, J, until just a couple of weeks ago, when J just showed up at C1’s door wanting to see my son. She showed up unannounced, unintroduced, just barged into his life, knocking on his door, wanting to steal my son away for the day. Now, I don’t know what has transpired between them since that day. But let me just say this, they are both newly single (his divorce just final 4 months ago, she just recently broke up with the guy she had been dating and planning on marrying) so they both are feeling a bit vulnerable. C1 has a history of dating older, much older women (I was the exception to that rule) and J has a history of dating younger, much younger men (there was a time we were convinced she was dating or at least having sex with a friend of my ex – her son).

Can anyone see where this is going? It is not altogether impossible that they have been chatting and maybe even seeing each other on occasion, and that tonight they were going to have dinner, and my son, who’s at his dad’s tonight, was going too.

When I voiced my complete and utter displeasure at the knowledge Bo was going to see J, C1 asked me, “So, are you telling me I can’t see her?” Uh, no, you can do whatever you want, I just don’t want her near my son (for reasons that are way too long to discuss here). But what does he mean by “I can’t see her”? That little slip of the tongue didn’t go unnoticed by me. But I was just too creeped out by the possibility of what it could have meant, I didn’t pursue it, nor do I ever plan on pursuing it.

My life just got way too weird. Way way too weird. Now, like I said before, I have no proof of anything, and I have no knowledge of anything transpiring between these two, nor would I have any reason to have such knowledge. But OMIGOD! Of all the single people in this town, in this world, why did those two have to get together? What do they have in common besides being ex’s of some sort, of mine?

I promise you this, if they are dating, that is going to earn me a few more months on the therapist’s couch.

Let’s play this out, shall we, just for giggles. Let’s say they are dating, and let’s say it’s just not my year, and they end up getting married. (Heaven forbid) That would make my son, who’s 12, the step brother to my ex husband. That would then make him a step uncle to his own sisters. My son's ex-step-grandmother (if there really is such a thing) would now become his new step-monster, I mean, step-mother. My 1st ex husband would then become the step father to my second ex husband and the step grandfather to my daughters. The holiday’s just got way too weird. My life just got way too weird.

Oy