Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Random Blatherings

We are going to be so damn busy this weekend.  Tonight, we have to go back to his empty apartment and mop the kitchen. Fine, shouldn’t take long.  Then, we’ll go home where we’re going to set up the spare bedroom and the office upstairs.   This weekend, we’re hitting garage sales in the area looking for more things for the house.  He’s already talking about spending the better part of the day outside on Saturday and Sunday both.   That means we’re going to be doing yard work.  The extended forecast is calling for mid 70’s and sunny both days this weekend, so it will be nice working outside.

My sister wrote this in her blog yesterday: Analyzing everything is just pointless and wastes time, energy, and emotion. Hell, even Freud took a day off. Give it a rest already!  She’s right. (I heard you Sis!  I know it’s me you’re talking to here.  You’re right and I get it.) I analyze everything, even when I don’t want to.  It’s second nature to me.  It is a waste and it’s pointless.  It totally makes my brain feel like peanut butter.  Besides, what do I get out of it?  I just need to relax and understand that Boo and I are fine.  Nothing has changed.  I continually analyze ‘us’ and then end up beating myself up for being insecure and paranoid.  Life is an ebb and flow, and so is our relationship.  Some days we’re close and some days we’re not.  Some days we talk a lot, some days not much, some days not at all, but ultimately, nothing has changed. I just need to relax and let go.

Today I was reminded, yet again, why I divorced my ex.  It seems to me that there is never a shortage of reminders of why I divorced him.  What I can not seem to find, anywhere, is a really good reason why I married him in the first place.  There are reasons, sure, but none of them good reasons.  I was pregnant with his second child, and we didn’t get married after the birth of the first.  After the birth of #1 we (he) promised his mother and grandmother we’d be married before we had any more children and #2 was on the way.  We were already living together.  Both wanted the party without the legal end of things, but couldn’t figure out a way to pull that off without offending the entire family (on both sides).

While I am loving the weather we’ve been having, I worry that it’s going to have serious repercussions later on for other people elsewhere.  The 70-80-90( days have been most enjoyable, but its way too early in the year for weather this warm.  It’s only April and we’ve seen 90 already.  We’re hurting for rain, and that will make the crops scarce, and prices go up, and some farmers go under.  The water temp in the ocean will begin to heat up, and when that happens, hurricanes are formed.  Boo and his brothers are already planning on keeping their mother up here, north of Louisiana for the summer to keep her out of the hurricanes.  It’s now starting to look like she may be here most of the year.  Who knew that hurricanes in the south could have such a direct effect on my life?

Every once in a while, the system actually works for me.  I got a check in the mail from child support enforcement yesterday.  That is not terribly unusual, considering we’ve garnished his wages; I actually get checks on a semi-regular basis.  What made this one different was the fact that it was from his tax refund, his state tax refund.  They were able to catch his refund and get it for me before it went to him.  I also happen to know that while the $275 I got yesterday was nice (and unexpected) I have another check from his federal refund coming to me in the amount of $533.  It only took them 2 years to catch up with him and block his refunds from going to him and taking them for his children, but it seems they were finally able to do it.  

Having high speed internet at home is wonderful.  I love being able to just go to the computer and look up whatever it is I want to know.  I can check the weather, my emails, the news, I can fire off an email to my brother, sister or mom whenever the thought crosses my mind.


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