Friday, April 21, 2006

And the reasons just keep on pouring in

Newt got sent home from school with Pink eye Wednesday.  No big deal, school called me, I called her dad, he said he’d go get her.  No arguments there. Oh no, they started later.

The sitter and he decided that she couldn’t go to school the next day (even though the school nurse, who is a nurse, something neither he nor the sitter are, said she could return after being on antibiotic eye drops for 24 hours).  I told him what the nurse told me and he got pissed off (his norm).

The next day I got the phone call bright and early, the pink eye had spread to both eyes, but since he wasn’t feeling good anyway, he would just stay home with her again. I have no problem with that.  I would have stayed home with her, but since he was sick he offered to stay home, fine. I’m not stupid. I went to work.

Of course, last night when I picked her up from him, he was a total and complete asshole (his usual self) calling me a ‘N*@ger Lover’ (I’m not sure what that had to do with anything, but it obviously made him feel better.  Besides, Boo is not African American, he’s Jordanian/American) and calling me names and cusing me out.  Then to add icing to the cake, he didn’t send her eye drops with her, so I had no medicine to give to her. (Let’s make the kids suffer to get back at Mom, great dad he is).

Then today the school calls again.  She’s fine to stay but she needs her eye drops b/c her eyes are itching and bothering her.  Well, the drops are at her father’s house and I can’t get them.  So I call him and he not only refuses to go get the eye drops for his daughter who is suffering, he tells me it’s my problem and calls me a fucking bitch and hangs up.

Why do I even bother with him?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  I have an abundance of reasons why I left him, why I hate him, why I wish he would drop off the face of the earth.  I have no earthly reason why I even married him in the first place.  My knucklehead said “It couldn’t have been all bad; you got 2 beautiful daughters out of it.”  Yeah, you’re right, but I sure as hell didn’t need to marry him to get them.  2 minutes in bed with him was all that took.  Marrying him just set me up for 18+ years of hell and torture and frustration and abuse and anger and hatred.

I know all of those negative emotions are a waste; they are life sucking waste of time energy and emotions.  Giving in to them, even for a second is allowing him power in my life, power he doesn’t need or deserve.  

Once again, I’m swallowing those life saving, keep me out of jail, magical wonder pills.  Sometimes I wonder about their potency.  I mean, they keep people alive, in that they keep me from killing other people, but it doesn’t matter how many of them I swallow, people are still assholes, and my ex husband, C2, tops the list.  I’m sure it would be no problem to convince both judge and jury I had committed justifiable homicide. I wouldn’t get jail time, I’d get a congressional medal of honor.  All the women out there who had had any contact with him in the past would be eternally grateful to me for ridding the world of him.  

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