Monday, April 10, 2006

Killer and Penhead

As you can tell by the picture, Killer (right) and Penhead (left) have kissed and made up. At least for the time being. They, of course, do not have the pens back that caused the stabbing incident. Now they will have to find other things to cause bodily harm with. If you've seen their room, it shouldn't be hard. Walking in that room is enough to cause someone severe physical harm. It's a deathtrap waiting to happen.

My mother, and my sister for that matter, tell me that sis and I used to fight like cats and dogs all the time. It's what sisters do. I frankly don't remember it. I remember 1 fight, that was a doosy, and it was in the last house I lived in with her. Less than a year later I was married and moved out. I don't remember what the fight was about but I remember being so furious with her I actually saw red, and wanted her out of my life, in any way possible. I am totally embarassed and humiliated by the memory now, and regret it. I vaguely remember apologising to her for it, and I think, hope she forgave me for that awful night. I know I haven't forgiven myself for it yet.

I guess it's the stupid female competitiveness that makes us argue and fight like that. I don't know, I don't understand it. Sometimes Killer and Penhead are the best of friends, but I see signs of my temper in Killer. I used to get so furious at my hair, MY HAIR for god's sake, and I would yell and scream and throw the hair brush at the wall and try to pull my hair out of my head. I see that same anger and frustration in Newt. Yes, it's completely irrational, but it's very real too. I understand her need to vent that kind of rage, but she needs to understand my need to protect everyone around her when she's that mad.

So, for now, I will enjoy the peace and the laughter between them, but make no mistake, I am silently behind the scenes preparing for the next battle, the bloodshed and the aftermath. Such is the life of being a mom.

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