Someone will always be smarter

Someone will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their partners will fix more things around the house. So let it go and love you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. The richest woman you know - she's got the car, the house, the clothes - might be heartbreakingly lonely. So, love you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself, "I am too blessed to be stressed." Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world."

My cousin’s wife posted this on her website. It speaks to me. Appearances can be deceiving. Sure the grass my look greener on the other side, it still has to be mowed.

I’ve been told, by several people, who know me, that I come across as intimidating. I intimidate people. When asked why they say that, I get the answer ‘You have such a presence about you, a quiet grace, and class. You have such a confidence about you. But once people get to know you, you’re totally approachable and laid back and comfortable to be around.’ What’s funny, is that what comes across as grace and class and inapproachability (is that even a word?) is actually insecurity and shyness and maybe a bit of fear. I prefer to stand back and watch people, get a feel of them, before jumping into a social situation with both feet. Some people have even been known to call me a stuck up bitch because I am not overtly open and over the top friendly when I first meet someone. I like to hang back, watch them interact with other people. What stems from insecurity and shyness comes across as snootiness, bitchiness, and snobbish behavior. Totally not my intention. Appearances can be deceiving. I am braver on the outside than I feel on the inside.

Sometimes that inapproachability has served me well. It makes it easy to keep undesirables at bay. Sometimes appearing to be a bitch has given me carte blanche to say things a little more bluntly and to the point than I would have normally. But I know that I am hiding behind a mask. I have a mask that a put on for the world. Just like the make-up I wear.

We just got through the holidays. My kids got a lot of cool Christmas gifts from family and friends. The finances in my house were kind of slim so Christmas wasn’t overly huge at my house. The girls tell me that their aunt and uncle on their dad’s side gave them a Leapfrog for Christmas. Fine. I’m glad they have the money to spend on my kids. They may have the money, and the newer cars, but they are living in a too-small-for-their-family 3 bedroom trailer, they fight all the time, their girls are going to be rebellions teenagers from lack of parental support/love/and attention. They live separate lives, rarely doing anything together as a family. They may be financially well off, but emotionally they are bankrupt. I’ll take emotionally rich any day of the week.

Be thankful, grateful for your blessings. Loads of laundry means you have clothes on your back. Rent/mortgage payments mean you have a roof over your head. Dishes to be washed means there is food to eat. Arguing, crying, fighting kids means you’re not alone.

I resolve this year to count my blessings, to be grateful and thankful for all that I have and all that I don’t have. I will try to look behind the mask and find the real person, and I will try to hide behind my mask less often. I will try to find happiness, true happiness in all that I do and all that I am, and will pass that lesson on to my children.