For Now

Today my mind is full of him, and memories of the time we shared last night. If my feet have touched the ground today, I don’t know it, my head has been in the clouds.

I remember the feel of him, the taste of him. The energy that sizzled between us last night, trying to keep it in check until we could ‘gracefully’ be excused to run upstairs to his room. Trying to walk calmly up those stairs like adults without a care in the world, when inside we were dying from anticipation like kids on Christmas morning.

Regardless of what label we use to define our relationship, there is no denying the connection and chemistry we share. I adore him. Not the idea of him, not the hope of him, the reality of him. The way his voice in my ear, over the phone, can still touch my very core, and light a burning fire in me. The way I ache to hear his voice, feel his touch, taste his lips, his body. I love the feel of his hands on my body. I love the way he knows exactly where and how to touch. I love that he knows me so well, he knows exactly what I need before I do. He anticipates my needs, my wants, my desires and gives them without hesitation. I love seeing his pleasure at watching me enjoy him. I love that we feed off of each other. I love giving myself to him, I love the way he takes me.

Laying on the bed last night, watching television, he laid down behind me, so comfortable and familiar. Home again. But like they say, you can’t really ever go home again, and this was no exception. It was different, but still familiar and comfortable. His arms reached around me and pulled me close. My body responded to his touch with thought, without hesitation. ‘It’s really good to see you again’ he said to me. “Yeah, I’ve missed you too.” I thought. I reached for him, he kissed me, I felt like I was sinking and floating at the same time. His mouth on mine, his lips soft and tender at first, our bodies responded and took over, thoughts ceased. All that mattered was being with him.

I lay beside him last night, listening to him breathe as he slept. I reached out and touched him, and even in his sleep, he snuggled in closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me, breathing in the scent of him. I almost lost this. Not just the man who is both friend and lover to me, but all that he gives to me, just because he is.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings for us. I am sure there will be more nights like last night, at least I hope there will. It is enough for now.