Why Toys are better than men

I got a phone call last night that inspired this list. There is a ‘Knucklehead’ out there who I am sure, can guess who instigated the phone call, and this list, and then was too ‘shy’ to post it to their blog. Lucky for you all, I’m not that shy at all…..

Why ‘Toys’ are better than Men…..

• Toys always know exactly what to do, what buttons to push and they do it right every single time.


• There are never any surprises, you always know exactly what you’re going to get.


• They don’t have any hang ups, anything goes.


• They never ask ‘Was it good for you?’


• You can hide them so they will never embarrass you in front of your parents


• They are always there when you want them


• They never have a headache.


• They don’t care if the game is on or not.


• They don’t burp or fart or emit other bodily functions


• They don’t take all the covers


• They don’t make you sleep in the wet spot


• They are always ready and willing and able, no matter how often.


• They don’t need any time to recuperate


• They don’t quit until you get your cookies


• They never get tired


• They never stop in the middle and yell. My turn!


• They don’t care if you bring another man home


• They don’t expect you to reciprocate


• They understand it’s all about you


• Batteries are cheaper than dinner and drinks.

I will admit that this list was inspired by someone who stood at Wal-Mart last night buying a some-assembly-required GI Joe SUV that required 9 batteries….or so she said.