Sunday, December 31, 2006

I am lonely. I miss him

Today, I am lonely, and I miss him. I know that he's at home with Princess and Scooter, and that all is well there. I talked to him yesterday, and am sure I will talk to him later today. But right now, I miss him.

It's New Year's Eve. Something I can easily forget if I don't think about it. Still, I wanted to end this year, start the next one with him. He told me once, that he would have liked to spend NYE with me, but he's got the kids.

(Emails from 12/15)
So, you gonna make me wait 3 weeks till I see you again? God I hope not
Let me see how things plan out. these next couple of weeks are going to be crazy but I hope not
uh, maybe I don't want to know, but do you have plans for New Year's Eve?
I have the kids new years
well crap damn fart
Sorry I would very much like to see you then.

So, I know that he would have liked to see me today, but the kids are there. I talked to him Friday, and well, he promised we'd get together this week.

I keep telling myself, that it's all going to be ok in the end. I still have birthday gifts and Christmas gifts to deliver to him. Hell, I still have things, clothes, toothbrush, shower gel, all kinds of things at his house, in his room. There is always hope. But none of that eases the lonliness of today. None of that brings him to me or me to him. The distance is still there, and today I feel it, a 100 times I feel it.

I am just lonely today. I miss him. I want to be there with him.

1 comment:

Junebugg said...

You could always do phone smooches at midnight. Not what ya wanted but a girl's gotta take what she can get sometimes.....