Monday, February 26, 2007

Random and Odd, out of sorts

Your emotions need some nurturing, so make sure you don't play crisis counselor for anyone else except yourself right now. The life you fix needs to be your own. It's time to focus on your agenda.

That's my horoscope for today.

I've got a lot going on around me right now. For once, the drama is happening in other people's lives, instead of mine. But being who and what I am, their drama effects my life. I don't get drawn into it, but I am aware of it, and end up offering help in dealing with it.

Sometimes it's more than I can handle and more than I can deal with. My drama is enough for any one person to contend with. But I find it hard sometimes to shut the door on other people's drama.

Sometimes I know I have to, to preserve my sanity, and my relationships and my family. Hard as that is to do. Much as it breaks my heart.

I've barely gotten Batman back in my life, and well, that relationship is still new, still fresh, and still fragile like the newborn that it is. It is precious to me beyond words, and I will do all in my power to protect and nurture it.

My countdown is getting smaller, which means my new life is coming closer and it's time I get serious about that, and start thinking and looking ahead and planning for that day.

I spent a wonderful weekend with Batman, but I know that next weekend we will be apart, for the first time in 3 weekends. Not looking forward to that at all, but I know I'll get through it. Somehow.

Other things happened in people's lives around me. Things not unforeseen, but the timing was unexpected. Now that the bell has been rung, it can't be unrung, and words spoken in the heat of the moment, can't be taken back, the damage is done. Whether they were truly meant at the time is irrelevant. The thought had been there for the words to be spoken. This is not new territory, just a little unplanned.

I've gotten spoiled in the past couple of weeks, having Batman to chat with on line while we're at work. For whatever reason, he's unavailable right now, and has been most of the day. I am sure there is nothing wrong between us, but his silence is unsettling at best. I'm not worried, I just miss him.

I was Home again this weekend, and Sunday afternoon rolled around, that sick to my stomach feeling came back, at the thought of leaving him, coming back here to a place I barely exist any more. I'm a shell of myself here now, with my heart being with Batman. Soon, though, soon, I'll be so much closer to him. Just not soon enough.


Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Hang in there, hon!

Dixie said...

Three months and six days
Three months and six days
Three months and six days
Three months and six days

Just keep repeating it!