Thursday 13, Final Edition

13 Things overheard in the Stands at the Daytona 500

1. Michael Waltrip is gay.
No he’s not, he’s just brain damaged.

2. Jeff Gordon is gay.
But he’s married to a hot chick and she’s pregnant.
She’s a front and the baby is Jr’s

3. Hey, did you get a picture of that? Yeah, Jr’s car. Being towed in. Yeah, it’s wrecked. Get a picture of that? I got one if you didn’t.

4. Jr says that #99 is out there driving like he’s playing a video game

5. I could actually like a Bush brother for a split second. He just took Tony Stewart out of the race.

6. It’s freakin’ cold when that sun goes down. This is Florida not Michigan.

7. That dude is so damn drunk, he won’t see the start of this race, let alone the first wreck. (surprisingly enough, he was upright and walking..er stumbling.. the entire race)

8. Hey Guys! Did you pay for front row seats? NO? Well, I freakin’ did, so I didn’t have to look at the back of your heads, now move it!

9. Oh Dude! Puking right here would not be a good thing. Not at all.

10. Well, now that Jr’s out of the race, might as well go home and beat the crowd.

11. Man 1 to Girl: Hey, didn’t you hear him bet me $40 that 29 would finish ahead of 8?
Girl: Uh yeah, sure.
Man 1 to Man 2: See, I told you, you did bet me!
Girl to Man 1: Ok, now you owe me half for lying for your ass. Pay up!

12. You know it’s cold when it’s too damn cold for beer at a NASCAR race.
Yeah, but it didn’t stop some of these idiots from getting wasted now did it?

13. Damn, what a wild finish that was!