Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Crack in the ice widens, it's starting to thaw

I won't go into details (it's really boring actually) but he called me last night, and sent an email, and we talked. The 'freeze out' he put into effect, has started to thaw.

It all boils down to this, I can accept that things have changed, drastically for us, and will never again be the same. But I don't want to lose the friendship I had with him. I will accept being his friend, nothing more. I just want to know that I CAN call him if I want to, but that I won't call him every day. I just miss being able to talk to him. I hate the silence, the walls between us. I just want my friend back.

And when I told him that, he seemed to understand. I think he misses our friendship too. I think he still cares about me or he would have told me to drop dead. He never did that. I think he still cares about me, to some extent, because here we are.

I will take this, and treasure it. I will guard and protect it. This is precious beyond words. We will be friends for now, and who knows what will happen some where down the road. But I'm not planning on that, I'm accepting this gift, today.

It is what it is, nothing more, nothing less. "Life's funny like that, once we let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong." When I stopped trying to force him, control the situation, well, life has a funny way of working out.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I wish you luck. What you're trying to do is one of the hardest things in the world. History seems to get in the way when we try to be friends with an ex-lover. You're a brave woman, but if it works it'll be worth the trouble