I have a Date!

Things have settled down for me this week. Saturday was hard, really hard, and I don't know why exactly, except that it was. But I got through it. Sunday, which is usually my day haunted by demons, was a breeze. I found something worth while to focus on, and got through my day.

I posted 'He comes to me in my dreams' earlier this week. It was just another step towards me letting go of what used to be, and accepting what is right now. He got a copy of it too. It eliminated some of the awkward between us. Made it easier for us to talk.

And talk we did. We've talked via email and messenger all week, and it's been nice. The phone calls at night have started again. There is a comfortable ease between us now, familiar, safe. We've even been flirting, a lot. Probably more than we did when we were together.

We made a date, supposed to be last night, but well, the weather in St. Louis didn't cooperate with us. It was raining, supposed to snow. He told me "I still care about you, and want you in one piece, so don't come down tonight. We'll just plan on Sunday."

And so, Sunday it is. After he takes the kids home, when he's free to focus on me, on us, I'll be there with him. Are we back together? No. Are we talking? Yes. Is there hope? Always was. Do I think this weekend will change anything? I'm not sure, but I'll be there, for the night.

It's not forever, but it's a start. I'll take it. It's a step, a small step. I can't ask for more, accept only what he can give right now, and right now he's offering one night. He came to me, not in my dreams, but in the light of day.