Is there a distinction between Blind Faith and Complete Denial?

I won’t blog about it all today, because there is much left unresolved. There is much to work out and talk about tonight, and still so many questions without answers. Promises made that now can’t be kept. Plans made based on those promises, and then acted on, now I’m adrift in an ocean of uncertainty.

Lost and floundering, drowning in emotions too real and too raw to even think about let alone touch. So many wants and needs that will go unanswered, leaving gaping holes in my heart and soul.

Ambiguity is a double edge sword. Offering hope when in reality there probably is none. In trying to avoid the inevitable, it makes the truth much much worse.

I have hit my brick wall, and I just want to lay down and be done. Every minute is a lifetime. Every breath takes too much energy. I want nothing more than ‘home’ and now it seems home is gone. I have nothing, I feel nothing. Tomorrow is a hell I don’t want to face. I don’t want to face anything without him.