Thursday, January 25, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I will Not be doing this year

1. I will not be getting married this year. Or next year, or the year after that, or the year after that. Ok, I can only say for certain, I will not be getting married this year. (Check back in December, make sure I hold to this. The only exception to this would be if Orlando Bloom were to ask. Ok, and maybe Johnny Depp)

2. I will not be taking over any small countries, or large ones for that matter. I am doing good to take charge of myself and my kids, ain’t no way I can run a country (unless you want me to run it into the ground. That I can do)

3. I will not be performing on American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, So you think you can Dance, uh, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Deal or No Deal, or any other reality/game show on television. I don’t want, nor do I need my 15 minutes of fame.

4. I will not be photographed sans underwear a la Britney Spears. Whether or not I’m wearing any is none of your business. I just like to think I’m a little more classy, and a little more refined, and I know how to get out of a vehicle without flashing my vajayjay to the entire world, or even the guy on the street.

5.I most definitely will not be giving birth to any children this year. I can say that with the utmost certainty for several reasons. First, it is impossible without medical intervention, and sex. Enough said.

6. I will not be running for president, or any other public (or private) office. (see item #2) As you may have noticed, I am not a leader. I am content to let someone else lead. (and when we’re lost they can catch hell for it). Seen that job, don’t want it.

7. I will not be buying a pair of Christian Loboutin shoes (the ones with the famous red soles) As much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE me some Louboutin shoes, I just can not justify paying twice my rent for a single pair of shoes. Besides, where would I wear them? They Daytona 500?

8. I will not be accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, the Pulitzer, an Academy Award, a Grammy or even an Emmy. Probably won’t be winning any blue ribbons (or any other color) at the county or state fair either.

9. I will not start smoking this year. Seems that there are bans on smoking just about everywhere now. In fact, the only place you can safely and legally get away with smoking is in the privacy of your own bathroom, as long as no one else sees you. I just can’t be that dedicated to something that means I have to stand outside in the cold or the rain to enjoy it. Sorry.

10. I will not be giving up drinking however. I am very fond of that little habit of mine, and I seem to be getting better at with practice. I haven’t practiced as much as I would like to recently, but eh, my liver says Thanks.

11. I will try to care less about what people think of me. I live my life for me and my kids, and as long as I know the truth, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or believes. Just because they believe it, doesn’t make it true.

12. I will not be getting gastric bypass surgery this year. I wanted Nicole Richie’s hair, not her body.

13. I can almost with absolute certainty, promise you all here and now, I will not be appearing on television, on a local newscast describing what the tornado looked like, sounded like, felt like or what I thought at the time. If/When that damn thing touches down, and the news crews show up for the story, I will be hiding out, letting some other more deserving crack head appear on the news. It gives

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Alexis Jacobs
Amy the Black

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Christina said...

LOL at #13. I grew up in FL and dealt with lots of hurricanes and I always wondered what people were doing on TV talking about the high winds and rain when they SHOULD have been in their cars evacuating or hiding out in their windowless bathrooms or laundry rooms. Maybe that's their attempt at the 15 minutes of fame? But, I really wish I could be on Deal or No Deal this year...the money surely would be nice!

Happy Thursday!!

Mert said...

LOL! I loved your list, the use of the word vajayjay in particular made me seriously LOL! Happy TT!

Marcia said...

I really like your "not" list.

Alexis Jacobs said...

I won't be on AI either...

Amy The Black said...

Darn. There goes the documentary I was thinking about doing on you.

It's Me, Maven... said...

Hola girlie! Great list!

ancsweetnsassygal said...

This is a great list, and I think I can pretty much make it mine too. But like Christina, I wouldn't mind being on Deal or No Deal. Come to think of it, I think I'd like Howie Mandel's job.

My TT is up also.