Un-freakin-believable

Well, the trip to the Dumbass lawyer’s office was un-fucking-believable. I thought we had come to some sort of agreement, but oh hell to the fucking no, apparently, I was totally mistaken.

Ok, remember when I mentioned that the allegations and demands in the original purposed parenting plan were so utterly unbelievable, and ridiculous I couldn’t even wrap my mind around them? Yeah, well I got my mind wrapped around them in a goddamn hurry today. He damn near got his ass handed to him on a silver platter today with my size 8 shoved squarely in it. I would have gladly sacrificed a shoe (they were old shoes) just to have the satisfaction of kicking him square in his lazy fat ass and hoping his over inflated ego would deflate. I refused to sign anything until I agreed to it. I was prepared to walk out and actually got halfway out of the office twice. He’s yelling at me, "you’re going to back out of our agreement?" uh no, I’m not agreeing to this bullshit. I’ll stick to our agreement; this isn’t even fucking close.

And just because I love you guys so damn much, I’ll share with you the delusions C1 lives under on a day-to-day basis. It’s amazing. It’s a fucking wonder he can function in life, with an ego as big as his, it surely must get in the way. I can’t imagine….oh wait, yeah I kind of can. I was married to that fucking ego 11 years ago. It has grown some since then, but yeah, you’ll get the idea. Read on…..

Father believes that joint physical custody is not in the best interest of the child for the following reasons.: Mother was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and has a history of not taking medications. (Yeah, good luck with that. You will never find any diagnosis anywhere in any medical files on me anywhere, ever, because, ah, yeah, it never happened. Just because you were a medic in the air force 20 years ago, does not make you MD.)

If mother’s actions and/or behavior warrant, father can change visitation to supervised status at any time. Any costs associated with supervised visits will be Mother’s responsibility. (Uh, excuse me, I have a question. Uh, who again determines if my actions and behaviors warrant this change? Oh, father gets to determine that? Like fucking hell, he does. He’s not playing god with my life and my visitation with my son. If I don’t kiss his ass, then my actions and behaviors warrant a change in visitation. It was fucking hilarious too, when the secretary the secretary at the law practice sat there and told him, "The court will throw that out. It will never make it past the judge. You can’t determine, change, stop, prevent, or deny visitation. Only the courts can do that." The secretary knew that. His lawyer actually thought he could put that shit in there and I would just roll over and say "Ok" and the courts would allow that shit? Oh hell to the no. I told you this lawyer was a Dumbass. And there was phone conversation in which C1 threatened me, "If you don’t agree to this I can make it so much worse for you. My lawyer says I could ask for so much more. I’m being generous and lenient." UH, yeah, you keep on trusting what your lawyer told you. You go ahead and ask for the moon and the stars. I won’t agree to it and neither will the court. I have managed to strip you of most of your power so far without a lawyer. Your lawyer hasn’t instilled a hell of a lot of confidence in me. He’s a freaking Dumbass, and you’re an idiot, both of which work in my favor.)

Father reserves the right and authority to cut short visitation if he feels visits are detrimental to the child and/or the child requests visits be cut short or cancelled. (Again with this determining bullshit. Who the fuck died and made you the fucking King of England? Uh, you will not be allowed to determine anything in regards to my visitation with my son, as you are unable to determine exactly why we are doing this. Surely not because you believe this is best for our son. You wouldn’t have the first clue as to what is in the best interest of our son. You don’t give a flying fuck about him. You’re just using this to make me fall into line and look, I’m not falling into line, and you’re not controlling me or manipulating me, or winning this battle.)

Father pays the cell phone bill and owns the cell phone provided to the minor child, and has final say on all matters relating to this phone and its usage. (We tried that, Bo went through 445 minutes in 4 days because I wasn’t allowed any say in the matter so I let him talk on the damn phone for hours at a time. That got dropped in a real fucking hurry.) If mother refuses to abide by this or problems arise due to mother being uncooperative, father has the authority to modify the visitation schedule accordingly. (Yeah, lets see, if I don’t fall into line and bow down and kiss His Royal Highness’s ass, and don’t allow Bo to use his cell phone, then I’m going to lose visitation with my son. Sounds to me, he’s trying to legally use Bo as a pawn to get me to fall into line. Again, this isn’t about Bo’s best interest at all, it’s all about controlling me and punishing me. He’s just using the only power he has, the courts. He does not have balls big enough to take me on any other way.)

At NO TIME will an adult, not married to mother, be allowed to spend the night at Mother’s residence unless it is a family member. (I guess all the men traipsing in and out of my life, through the revolving door I have on my apartment will now have to be referred to as Uncle. As IF…asshole) If father discovers this is occurring, he may, at his discretion change the visitation schedule to include discontinuing visitation temporarily until a satisfactory outcome can be achieved. (unless I decide to give him a cut of the $ I take in on those nights. Idiot) (Yup, there’s that discretion and control and punishment and playing GOD again. He really thinks he big shit. He is shit all right, and yes, he is big –fat- but he is a fucking moron. This totally was thrown out too. I told him he had no fucking right to dictate who and what happened at my house any more than I could dictate what went on at his house. I tried to go down the road, if it applies to me, then it has to apply to him. But I realized the futility of that, because there is no one EVER going to spend the night there with him. They would not only have to be married to him –and that ain’t happen, he’s been divorced three times, because we all got smart. I was the only one to have his baby- they would have to be blind and desperate.)

So what did we agree on?

Not much.

Try as I might he would not agree to the fact that he was doing this to punish me for wanting to get as far away from his crazy insane ass as possible. He thinks he’s GOD. Yeah, I can tell you, no body has ever confused him with the Big Guy, EVER.

We did agree on joint physical custody.

I will have temporary custody of him when he is with me. That means every other weekend, and specified holidays. Bo will come to my house every other Friday night. If he decides at any time that he does not want to be there, he can call his father and go back to his father’s house. His father has to come pick him up. I will not drive him back home. That means that when I move to Lincoln County, then I will pick him up at Kingdom City, and take him home. If he wants to go back to his dad’s, fine, his dad has to drive to my house in Lincoln County and get him. Period. The fun part of that is, I can pick Bo up, and head back home, Bo can call his father, and have him pick him up 2 minutes after we walk in the door at my house. That means his dad will have to literally almost follow us home just to get him. *Insert evil maniacal laugh here*.

The cell phone issue has been resolved in this manner. Mother has the discretionary authority in its usage, such as getting off the phone to do chores, homework etc. Taking the phone away or restricting it is usage as punishment is acceptable, as long as contact with the other parent is maintained and Father is notified of this restriction. (Yeah, when he goes through damn near 500 minutes in 4 days because I am not allowed any say in the matter, you can bet your sweet ass, you give that authority back to me. Otherwise, he’ll be on the damn phone all the time, and shit, I’ll be using it too, just because I can!)

Father will be awarded sole custody and will have final say in all matters. (Fine. I’ll agree to that. So, by having sole custody of our son, you will then be assuming all financial responsibility for him as well? Great. You will now be the one providing him with a car and insurance in two years. Good luck. I won’t be helping out with that little expenditure at all. Not smart enough to get that in writing right now, it’s never going in there. I don’t have custody of him. You will be providing him with a college education and paying all college tuition and expenses for the time he is in school? Great! I’m going to encourage him to go to Harvard or Yale and study to be a doctor or a lawyer, which ever has a longer course study. Again, you have sole custody of him, and have assumed full responsibility of him, both legally and financially. Good luck with that shit. He fucking hates it when I go after his money, and believe me I know how to go after his money and get as much of it out of him as I can.)

The good news, I can go to child support enforcement after this signed, and I can go back and get the past child support that he didn’t pay the first 5 years of Bo’s life. He’ll continue to pay me child support even though he doesn’t know it yet. Clear up until Bo is 18 I can claim that. He can’t prove he paid it, because he didn’t. I just have to claim I never got it. Send in copies of our divorce decree and bibidy bobidy boo, child support enforcement is on his ass. *more maniacal laughing here*.

The funny shit about all of this? Yeah, with a lawyer in tow, he tried to fuck me over, just like he’s tried to control and manipulate me all along. I went in without a lawyer and walked out of it just fine. Didn’t cost me a penny at all. Cost him plenty. And that’s the way I like it, and the way it should be.

As soon as we manage to get a court date (and I’m thinking I would have better luck at getting a court date when the judges are actually sitting on the bench than his Dumbass attorney) we will be done with this shit and I can get on with my life and pray to whatever gods are out there, that he falls off the face of the earth.

Not that I’m bitter or anything.